Uncle Andy offers some tips.

Valentine's Day is coming, and girls want more than flowers and chocolate.  So we hit the streets and asked girls what they really want for Valentine's Day.  Trust us - if you want to impress her this year, listen to what these girls have to say...

Watching the Star Wars trilogy - no of course Episodes I-III don't count - you don't really get the chance to think about the daily practicalities of being a Jedi.

How does laundry work? Do Jedis brush up dust on the floor with their minds? Do you toast your bread by slicing through a fresh loaf with your light saber?

YouTubers Warialasky seek to answer a couple of those queries with this lovely little video about the world's laziest Jedi. Waking up with what appears to be a hangover the size of a black hole, he stumbles about his apartment, Forcing things into walls, falling over a lot and generally being an idiot. An idiot who possesses midi-chlorians.

Think 'Ultimate Tazer Ball' is a pretty silly name for a sport? Just wait till you you see it in action.

Based on an idea from Leif Kellenberger, this extreme sport involves eight players, a 24-inch ball, a 200 x 85 foot rectangular playing field and eight tasers. That's right, tasers.

If you take a look at their website, utblive.com, there's an extensive and detailed explanation of the rules, but the main thing is this: you can only tase people if you're holding the ball and in the special 'shock zone'.

Otherwise, it's a simple game of get-the-massive-ball-in-the-other-team's-goal - it just has that little bit of extra-added danger thanks to the chance of being attacked with an electroshock weapon.

If you're incredibly excited about seeing the sport live, why not head to Thailand for 3 March to see their Bangkok match. It's going to be... shocking. Sorry, we couldn't resist.

Giuliano Stroe isn't your average 7-year-old boy. After, all how many kids of his age boast two Guinness world records? Not many, we're guessing.

Intermittently in the news for a while now, Romanian child bodybuilder Stroe is the current holder of the 'fastest ever ten meter hand-walk with a weight ball between his legs' world record and the most 'air push-ups' title too - making him, officially, fitter than you.

His latest attention-grabbing stunt comes in the form of this YouTube video, which shows the Schwarzenegger-in-the-making performing a number of push-ups while pressing down on four green glass bottles.

Why does he do this? Only he and his father Iulian know.

Just when you maybe allowed yourself to start thinking "The Simpsons" couldn't get any worse, somebody decided to up and make a live-action pornographic movie starring most of the town of Springfield.

Promising that we've "never seen sex this yellow" (apparently they don't know about our weird jaundice fetish), Full Spread Entertainment is releasing a live-action video of what happens when you take porn actors, smear them with yellow body paint, and tell them to pretend they're the cast of "The Simpsons." (WARNING: Link is to a "Simpsons"-porn site and is NSFW unless you work from home and there's no way your roommates will hear what you're doing in your room.)

On the one hand, gross. On the other hand, what happens to all that paint once it starts getting rubbed around? Can it possibly conceal the douche-y, tribal armband tattoos that seem to plague all male adult film actors?

Also, what role does Moe play in all this? Do we have to see Moe's naked body? If these questions are plaguing you as much as us, we've put the SFW version of the trailer after the jump.

Humanity has accomplished plenty to be proud of: we landed on the moon, created the internal combustion engine and invented the cell phone. However, perfecting a condiment-dispensing robot has always been but a dream - our white whale, as it were.

Now, you might ask, "Do we really need a robot to shoot ketchup onto our hot dogs?" The answer is yes. Yes, we do. After watching this video of a ketchup-dispensing robot missing the mark we think you'll come around to the notion.

Abraca-orgasm.

For this, the final Woman's Perspective, our girl was under a lot of pressure. After over a year of bringing you her weekly take on such disparate subjects as anal sex, swingers, porn, Dr. House, glasses, video games, the Internet, getting laid, bachelorette parties, strippers, the G-spot, "Lord of the Rings" and Dutch ovens, she felt she had to somehow top it all in one final, explosive finale.

Then she just said "F**k it" and phoned it in like always.

It started off as a fairly typical crash, a motorbike rider at Magny-Cours came off at a corner and his bike proceeded to unseat another racer...

After the two amateur riders, who were battling for the chance to break into international racing, had been unceremoniously thrown from their rides, the bikes came together.

The tangled bikes then began to twirl and spin on the track as though performing an elaborate Latin dance which would almost certainly have got them through the first few rounds of Dancing with the Stars.

As this happened, the dismounted racers were forced to helplessly watch their bikes' 'almost' sensual moves - though one, clearly exasperated, did make a wonderfully comedic attempt at stopping them.

When the bikes finally came to a standstill some 40 seconds after they began, marshals wheeled them from the track followed by the angry racers. And there wasn't one stumble.