For today's sexually active comes a new Kama Sutra supplement courtesy of Patrice Oneal.

How incredibly funny is this? Patrice Oneal as Gary Coleman! And if you think this is afunny you really have to go see Patrice's online show at www.patriceoneal.com.

This fantastic presidential campaign video speaks for itself, is that Pantera I hear? A very macho band for a very macho candidate. Vote for Dan Pederson! Got your ballz wet at www.pederson2008.com.

The most macho of all candidates has entered the race to become the next President, Dan Pederson. Make sure you check out his website,  www.pederson2008.com,  frequently for updates about his campaign and remember to "Get Your Ballz Wet" with Dan Pederson!

A comic needs to be fearless and confident and it never hurts if they are macho as well. Patrice Oneal is all three and shows it in this incredibly video trailer for his upcoming video podcast! We can't wait for its launch!

Salma Hayek has opened the door for controversy regarding her current pregnancy and the identity of the real father of the unborn child. In a recent interview with woman's crap magazine Marie Claire, the very sexy Mexican actress gave her views about the Bible in relation to its view towards women and thereby began the mystery.

"I don't like the way the Bible views women," said Hayek. "This thing about the Virgin Mary conceiving a child without having sex. You can conceive a child by having sex, it is just hard to know for sure who the father is."

When asked if recent husband, François-Henri Pinault, is the father of the child. Hayek answered, "He will make a wonderful and generous father." This opened the door to further speculation regarding the genetic father of her child.

Pinault, 44, is the CEO of luxury goods firm PPR, which owns Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent, as well as a French department store and national music chain. His father, François, is an avid art collector owning more than 2,500 valuable pieces, including Picassos, Miros and work by contemporary artitsts including Damien Hirst. Familiar on both European and American fashion and art circuits, the family fortune is estimated in excess of $7 billion.  Rumor has it that he shoots blanks after a freak motorcycle accident in 2005.

Hayek had been seen earlier in the year with former lover and Mas Macho co-founder, Don Antonio Cebolla. Don Antonio has recently been quoted saying that he will happily comply with any DNA tests to ascertain the true identity of the father.

I gotta lot of bitches to plow, so you can fucka me later but you should fucka me now. This is the theme song of many macho men.

No matter when, where or how, bouncing boobs are simply great to watch.

Mas Macho is for men who are bold and our mission is to destry the feminist doctrine that has been putting men's natural instincts down. Men should be men and should macho men at that.

What we've done is compile a quick list of tips that will help turn even the most effeminate fool into a macho man. Follow these simple tips...

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WHY DO PEOPLE ENTER MY RESTAURANT WITH STARBUCKS COFFEE AND EXPECT ME NOT TO SAY SOMETHING TO THEM??!?!

What? I dont pay rent!!! Do they think I woke up this morning and said yyyyyeeeeeesssssss let ME make room for these starbucks drinking assholes to sit at MY tables, order food and have ME loose out on making $$$$$ from one of the most profitable items known to man. The coffee here at MY restaurants is fantastic, 3 restaurants later I think someone would have said something to ME if it wasn't!

And have you ever noticed how stupid these people look walking and holding their starbucks in front of them like it is their seeing eye dog or a few singles for the stripper? I say knock it out of their hand and send those ugly bitches back to the ugly land they came from!

I, El Vengador de Los Machos, say what could be more Macho than a bunch of swarthy, sweaty and juiced-up athletes making millions of dollars for hitting a ball with a wooden stick? Even better, they travel from city to city, making someone, clearly less Macho,  carry their bags. In case you were wondering, the list of the most Macho players, in no particular order, is Roger Clemens - 40+ and still brings the heat, muy macho!, Derek Jeter - conquests both on and off the field, Sammy Sosa - a steroid scandal, terrible stats in 2005 and will still make a comeback this year, and Manny Ramirez  - does whatever he wants whenever he wants and makes 17 million dollars a year. This list will constantly change as the season progresses since someone will either cry like a bitch and be exiled from the world of Macho or they will make the most Macho of plays, ensuring their spot in the Mas Macho Hall of Fame.

For now, stand up straight and take no crap.  Viva Los Machos!

Next, I, El Vengador de Los Machos, would like to address the banking industry. It is not at all Macho that banks charge at least $2 to use another bank's ATM. If I want to take out money to spend on expensive liquor, Cuban cigars and loose women, why should I have to pay an extra fee? In truth, each and every bank should waive this fee, no wait, they should give me an extra wad of cash so that I, and my Macho brothers, may continue to spread the Macho gospel across this land.

So the next time you go to your bank, walk right up to the not-Macho teller and tell them you want some extra money. Be confident and strong and tell them you mean business. Tell them El Vengador sent you.

Until next time, stand up straight and take no crap.  Viva Los Machos!

I, El Vengador de Los Machos, would like to speak with you about the NCAA and the March Madness. The senior executives here as Masmacho.com are currently in negotiations with CBS and the NCAA to amend the name of the NCAA's Men's Basketball tournament from "March Madness" to "Macho Madness." In addition to the name change, there are some other exciting developments being discussed including a full half-time show featuring a full complement of "Scores" strippers, limiting the brackets to only include schools with Macho mascots and more beer and alcohol commercials during the broadcasts. Check back for further developments.

Until next time, stand up straight and take no crap.  Viva Los Machos!

So it ain't so Rock? Human growth hormone? Aren't you supposed use the celebrated cinematic tool of the training montage to bulk up? Rocky "Sylvester Stallone" Balboa and his entourage were detained at the airport following a "misunderstanding" which saw various "contraband substances" found in their luggage.

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What happens when you take a bunch of drunk people, give them more booze, a video camera and some old shoes? You get a really funny show called The Shitty Shoe Show! We especially like the opening to this one, get me a beer woman! Check it out.....

Ever since you were a little macho man, you have been getting boners. Most of the time they are obvious ones such as the time a stripper was shaking her junk in front of you or that kiss from your first girlfriend. Those are low hanging fruit, no pun intended. But what does it mean when you get a boner while...We refer to the The Alphabet of Manliness for guidance. Read on macho seeker of knowledge.

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Anna Nicole Smith - the  jeans model, Playboy centerfold, fat chick, skinny chick, drug addict, widow of a really rich old guy,  reality-show star, air head, bad mother, alcoholic, stripper, TrimSpa spokeswoman and escort  - died Thursday after collapsing at a hotel. She was 39. Macho men across the world are mourning her death. Here is the signed picture she sent Mas Macho.  --> We will miss your sexy drama.

Updated on Sunday, February 4, 2007 at 09:18PM by Paulito Cebolla

Prince performing at Super Bowl XLI halftime show.The Super Bowl halftime show is generally over-rated and uneventful, well except maybe for the wardrobe malfunction, but Super Bowl XLI was an exception. Prince came out in full splendor in the rain and lit it up. The lightning was incredible at the beginning. Neither the rain nor the wind could keep Prince from exploding into one of the greatest halftime performances ever!

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Awww did the sissy and effeminate men and "park the car in harvad yad" women get all scared in Boston? Did a little lite brite of a Mooninite look ominous and scary? New York is the Big Apple, Pennsylvania is for lovers and Boston is for sissys!

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If you are a man, and especially a macho man, you must receive the daily Thrillist email - a free daily email that has the most important things that a man needs to know. As they put it, the email..."might be about a restaurant that serves poisonous (yet edible) fish, a rock bar that lists a "Double Shot of Jack" on its cocktail menu, or even a pocketknife that doubles as a money-clip." 

And there is no pansy-wansy dailycandy like-bullshit going on here. this is the real deal for men. And in case you are a cheap bastard...the email is free. Join up!